Game, Set and Match
by Ruthless
Summary: Collected drabble series, focusing on the few times that Giles and Ethan ran into each other on the show, and showing their alternate thougts and feelings in regards to one another. S2-S8
1. Faker

**Faker (Halloween)**

A quick smile –it's a mask, an instinctual defence. I'd always been able to get under Ripper's skin like that.

A smile as false as an honest politicians –as false as a stage magicians' powers. As much a lie as the mask of the man that stood before me.

In the old days Ripperwould have been able to see past fakery, under the masks, had always been able to read the truths amongst my lies.

In the old days he would have recognized my smile for what it reallywas –not a taunt or a challenge –but a plea.


	2. Steps

**Steps (Halloween)**

All that it would take was two steps.

Two steps, to drive his fist into Ethan's gut.

One quick knee, at exactly the right time, to slam his jaw together; maybe even shatter a tooth or two.

One hard kick aimed towards his side, fracture or possibly break a couple of ribs.

Two steps, to make Ethan bleed again, at his hands. To draw out that pained gasp which had always made his heart race and his breath quicken.

Two steps were all that it would take to drive Ethan out of his life once again.

He stepped forward.


	3. Oportunist

**Oportunist (The Dark Age)**

I know I should've left town; skipped out soon as the first opportunity came. Gods know if nothing else, I'm always an opportunist.

But reasoning, self-preservation, and common sense _always_ take a back seat when Ripper's concerned.

No way I could run out, especially knowing what's coming.

To anyone else it might've seemed like my usual selfishness.

Probably is –no way I'll ever bypass an opportunity to see Ripper again.

I've come to realise, too late, what the precious little time I've had with him means.

And if I get the chance to stir a little chaos, then even better…


	4. Straight

**Straight (The Dark Age)**

Most of the time these days I kept my tea straight as my life, and my whiskey bottles just for show.

But today isn't most of the time.

I'd tried for so long to forget Ethan, what he'd meant to me once; those rare unguarded moments when he'd let me in as far as I had him, the blazing rows, the tender touches afterwards, the fact I'd genuinely loved him.

Seeing him again, it brought back everything I'd missed, as well as everything I'd hated.

And dreaming about him isn't helping matters, either.

That's why today, the whiskey's straight, instead.


	5. Chaos

**Chaos (Between 'Age' and 'Candy')**

I first chose chaos because it's mailable, just like I want to be these days.

If I'd been mailable and open to change _before, _then I'd have never found myself pining over some lost lover like a sick dog.

Chaos is _all_ about change. The changes that you make happen.

If you're at the ships helm, on top of the wave, then it can't swamp or drown you.

No surprises.

One path closes and a new one opens.

And with change as the only constant, one day one of these paths will have to lead where I want to go.


	6. Order

**Order (Between 'Age' and 'Candy')**

I turned away from chaos, and darkness, and pain, because in the end the cost of doing what I wanted outweighed and small benefit.

As much as I gave, it tried to take more.

And in the end, it was a life; although not _mine_ that was the price.

I couldn't risk any other innocent –or not so innocent- lives.

And especially not Ethan's…

I wished for the longest time that he had come with me.

But at least I'd though him to be safe.

Now, however, I know differently.

And I'm so surrounded by order, that he's truly inaccessible.


	7. High

**High (Band Candy)**

It's one hell of a rush, it really is. Better then any high from the good ol' days.

Been years since I last felt this alive.

Dunno why I ever stopped. There's no fun in being a tweedy Watcher.

Last thing _I_ ever wanted was to become a mirror of my stiff-neck father.

The box of fags that Ethan left behind last time is going to good use, too.

Ethan…That'd be the one thing that'd make this even better.

Sure, Joyce is one fiery bird (reminds me of Dee, almost) but Gods, some days I really miss me old mate…


	8. Passion

**Passion (Band Candy)**

Been a long time since I last saw that _hunger, _and fire, and lust in Ripper's eyes.

Last time, the only trace of it was in anger, which he'd turned on me as savagely as he could –a tiny chip in _Rupert's_ stone-hard shell.

He'd always liked to make me bleed.

And I'd always loved his passion.

Seeing that boy; Ripper Giles, the only man who'd ever touched my heart; lover, fighter, and rebel, rather then that mockery, feels almost like coming full circle.

Seeing him blazing with that _passion_…

Yep, be worth every moment of the beating I'm anticipating.


	9. Touch

**Touch (A New Man)**

One touch is all that it would take; to speak to what was so long hidden, so long gone.

One touch, gentle but sure; to reassure and reaffirm. To make everything certain.

One light squeeze of a shoulder, to show respect for what had been and gone.

A callused thumb, so certain of the path upon which it travelled, blazing up and over old paths, routes long thought forgotten,

All that it would take, to start traversing those brand new roads, once thought far-too-steep, towards where Ripper looks down on me.

But I _should _be satisfied with what I have.


	10. Ease

**Ease (A New Man)**

Fake laughter.

Not sure whom Ethan thinks he's fooling; it's not me.

There's not so much water gone under _that_ bridge that I can't recognize pain or loneliness.

It'd be so easy to reach across the table, drink forgotten, to grasp Ethan's hand.

To ask him back to my place –no promises, expectations, or false hopes.

We're both adults now; jaded and cynical.

But some things never change.

The reason I can't cover that chasm between us _is_ because of how easy it'd be.

Too easy to remember why I'd loved this man.

Too easy to forget why I'd stopped.


	11. Control

**Control (A New Man)**

It was foolish. I'm meant to be an adult now –a grown-up.

Should be able to control my feelings, my desires, and my affections.

Everything that I'm meant to be about comes back to control.

This can only ever end in disaster.

Foolish of me to accept Ethan's offered drink, worse that I allowed myself to be played and seduced –worse still, that I'd wanted to be.

No promises or expectations? Who was I kidding?

Every single moment I give Ethan is a promise. And he'd always expected more.

I have to take the chance and get out of here.


	12. Fitting

**Fitting (A New Man)**

It's fucking cold.

I could cheerfully kill the basted. _Really_.

All his hypocritical talk about wrong and right, good and evil…

Just trying to help, and look where it gets me. Kicked to the sodding streets at three in the morning.

The motel will be locked up tight as a rats arse.

Not the first time I've had to sleep rough.

But it's worse then just that –I'd let myself hope….

Killing him won't solve anything.

And besides, I can think of something more fitting.

Tomorrow _everyone_ will see the face that I'm presented with when _I_ see Rupert Giles.


	13. Bittersweet

**Bittersweet (After 'The Long Way Home')**

Buffy told me, yesterday.

Looked me in the eye, saying _'If it weren't for Ethan then I mightn't have made it out that funky dream-thing.'_

I swear my heart missed a beat.

I'd long decided that my handing Ethan over had been overkill. After all, what had his response been, aside from retribution to _my_ actions?

The latest Challenge.

_'Ethan?'_ _I asked, trying not to care. _

_It wasn't safe to care._

_'Yeah. I went to try and bust him out after, but he'd been shot. In the head.'_

Game, Set, and Match to me.

Funny.

I never thought victory would feel like this.


End file.
